Tag Archives: words

Metaphors

The words never came easy. He searched for them, day in and day out. Fought against a galaxy of possibilities, but in the end all he ever had to show for it was a handful of butchered metaphors. He wanted to be an artist. He wanted to make people sigh, when they read the things he wrote. Wanted them to repeat short passages to themselves with their eyes closed, so that they wouldn’t let a single word of it slip from their memories. But in all honesty, he was a sham. He was a paint-by-numbers artist, merely following in the footsteps of truly great writers. Worst of all, he was a sadist. He prowled through used bookstores finding masterpieces, and picking them up to read random lines. Then, he set them back down on the shelves with the solemn conviction that he would never write the sort of book he wanted to. If he was lucky, one day, he’d write something good enough to scrape by all the other garbage out there and land itself in the dollar bin of one of his second-hand shops. He accepted that as a fact, an inherent truth that could be argued with to the same extent the Sun’s position in the solar system could be. That thought kept him up every night. So that he would lie in his bed, letting the bags under his eyes sink into a darker shade of purple. Then, he would get up, and pace, and sit down at his desk, and get up again, and sit back down, and write. In the morning he’d look at each word with scorn, and throw every page of work away. This, his suffering, he considered, was maybe the only thing that likened him to any real artist. And that, gave him hope.

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Hey Hot-Stuff!

I cannot stand the word hot! Well, more specifically I can’t stand when the word hot is applied to people. When people call others ‘hot’ I wonder if they just don’t get what that word means, because if you really think about it, the context of someone being hot is just terrible.

Let me explain.

Hot has two suitable basic applications, one pertaining to temperature and the other to spicy foods. Like, “Oh it’s hot out today, better not move away from this fan” or, “Wow these chicken wings are hot, got any ranch?” Neither of those connotations are  particularly flattering.

Sticking with the first (hot as in temperature) you’re implying… what exactly by calling someone hot? Are you trying to point out that they look to be of an elevated temperature? Or are you implying that your temperature elevates when looking at them? Because either one of those basically makes it sound like one of you two has a fever. That just makes you or that ‘hottie’ sound sickly, and that’s not really a swoon worthy compliment.

Now if what we really mean is hot as in spicy… Well, I have news for you, the only reason humans can perceive food as being hot in the spicy sense is because spicy foods activate pain receptors in your body. That’s right kids! If you like spicy food, you’re really just a masochist. So calling someone ‘hot’ in that regard is probably worse than telling them they look feverish, because you’re basically telling that cutie you’ve been eyeing all night that looking at them causes you actual pain. Hows that for flattery!

‘Hot’ means nothing. It’s somehow understood to mean pretty, but there’s no good reason for it. Which I guess leads me to a third interpretation of I hadn’t anticipated. Because aside from meaning either of the above things, I guess calling someone hot would best reflect the word itself if it were taken to mean ‘pretty but without substance’. Still, not a very good descriptive word for anyone you even remotely admire. (Unless your making a point to someone who has nothing going for them beyond their looks!)

But seriously, why would you call someone ‘hot’ when they can be cute, beautiful, handsome, gorgeous, charming, divine, alluring, radiant, or stunning!

-A.N. King

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